Bye Bye Billy

As the blogging comes to an end I'd like to say how happy I am that I won't have to think about Billy anymore. He really wasn't a favourite character of mine throughout the novel because he was so pathetic. It seems a little harsh but I can totally support my thought by saying that he proposed lamely to Valencia and made no effort to have a happy marriage (which makes him less of a man in my eyes), he also gave up on life at points in the novel (by being a vegetable as said by Professor Rumfoord).  In the interest of your time as the reader, I advise you visit (and would appreciate if you read) the blog below this one to read all about my opinion on Billy and Valencia's marriage. As for Billy being a veggie, the quote, "How nice-to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive." really stuck in my mind after a read it because it was such a good way to describe how I feel when I see people that don't appreciate being alive. When someone is given the chance to have a good life and doesn't even realize the good things they have (like loving parents, good grades or simply food on the table) because they're too busy doing drugs or wallowing in self pity. It really is sad that so many teens engage in drinking and drugs because they think it will help them have a good time and all they end up doing is frying brain cells and changing their personality. I've lost contact with one too many friends because they gave up on their goals and dreams to just become someone else. Other people focus on the past too much and don't move on with their life, that's also sad to see because they've got their whole life ahead of them if they're young like me. They're not appreciating their present and therefore aren't fully living their life. I know it may be hard some days when life is tough but having hope and the motivation to move on is really inspiring to see in people, like Neil Armstrong for example. I think that we all need to remember at some point that there are people out in this world that have a much more difficult life than us and they are still pushing through.  This quote from the novel just reminded me of how I feel about the people that don't appreciate what they have and just don't bother to show emotion or love in their daily life when they have the chance to. I'm not upset about the poor people in hospitals that are in a vegetative state, because they can't help that and it's sad to see them suffer that way. Billy was like this too, he wasn't aware of the good things he had in his life (like a stable job, a wife, a daughter and a roof over his head). He survived being a prisoner of war for goodness sake! I understand all the things he may have seen gave him mental problems and it took over most of his thoughts (the time travelling) but he didn't try to enjoy the gift of surviving the war. He just gave up on it. Overall, Billy wasn't one of my favourite characters and I can't say I'm too sad that he won't be a part of my thoughts a few months from now (unless I have to write about him in my final exam). But this whole blogging assignment was fun and I really enjoyed this new way of expressing my thoughts about the novel, Slaughterhouse Five.

Billy + Love = Impossible

Looking by my side the marital mistake I've made is clear.
I can't understand my own decisions to be with her.
Why can't I just let us both be happy?
Because I know I'm broken.
Even if I can't fix it.
I need her.
I do.
-B

Some days he's in good mental state and will speak to me.
I can tell that he needs love and peace to heal.
No one is willing to give it to him.
I certainly repulse him.
Shouldn't waste time.
What a mistake.
Us together.
-V

Married is just a title for Billy & Valencia.

Valencia and Billy's marriage is strange to me because it is so unhappy on both sides. Maybe she isn't as dumb as I think of her to be but she definitely can't be happy with a husband that doesn't give her attention. How could they have wanted this? It makes me wonder if they've ever been in love or if they just knew that the chances of someone else wanting to marry them were slim so they jumped at the chance. It is a sad marriage to read about and I'm sorry for the both of them to be in it. So little love. I think that this entire novel has so little love. I didn't expect it to be a romance novel in the first place, but the way Billy's marriage is presented just makes love seem so cheap. Like it can be bought by a stolen ring and that it will last in an environment that wants to smother it (such as Billy making no attempt to find something to love about Valencia). Yes, Billy had no love growing up as a child (considering his father just threw him into a pool and almost pushed him over the edge of a canyon) and the things he went through in war had toughened him emotionally. Although a character that doesn't even appreciate life enough to live it when he survives the war and so many die is just an uninteresting character because he has nothing more to offer to the world with an attitude like Billy's. He finds someone who might actually love him for who he is and what little he has to give, but he marries her because he figures that he'll never get anyone better and that her financial status will be good too. Its pretty repulsive that Billy did this to Valencia. She wasn't really described more in the novel, besides being overweight and somewhat ditsy, and it was my understanding that she had low hopes of marrying anyone else as well, so she accepted Billy's offer for that and because she may have actually loved him. She even said she'd lose weight for him and he just dismissed that. I felt so bad for her, the way that she was proposed to was pathetic and careless, when it came to choosing their china Billy didn't put any opinion into it but agreed with her on everything. Billy never really made the effort in their marriage, I think Valencia deserved better. He didn't seem to mourn for long after Valencia's death and that is upsetting because she was so distressed about his being in the hospital that she died on her way to visit him. Those actions of Billy's really make him a lower character in my eyes.

Continue Blogging Mon Amie

Like a half-eaten Popsicle melting into a puddle, this blog assignment is coming to an end. As everyone is finishing up their lovely blogs and putting out their own opinions for their classmates (and everyone in the blogging world that comes across these) to read I can only wonder how my own blog will be received. It's a little strange to me that people may actually read my thoughts on Slaughterhouse Five. Considering the embarrassingly minimal contributions I give to class discussions this is definitely something new to me. All the same, I've read other classmate's blogs from time to time and really enjoyed them. Lauren's blog was among the one's a enjoyed reading and the rest of this blog will be my response to her blog. "Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt" was a blog that kept me reading every post! I began with the introduction and read the rest in random order (much like Vonnegut would write) to find that all the blogs interested me. My favourite things to read were the poems because they were unique. I really enjoyed that different medium of writing and the poems themselves were full of emotion.
My favourite poem was "Dabbling in Some Fiction" because it was a short and sweet summary of the book but at the same time I could totally take a few lines out of context and apply them to myself. "In my dreams; Where nothing I see; Is as it seems" I really liked this because I could see how it related to Billy and his supposed time traveling but I could also relate it to how I like to think of the world when it gets to be too bothersome. When nothing seems to go like I planned and every thing's not beautiful. Pretending that things aren't so glum can really brighten my attitude and changing my attitude can usually change the situation I'm in. I guess that everything just has a wonderful way of being linked together. It made reading the poem more emotional and its always good for a writer to be able to do that. The stylistic choice to italicize each poem was good to see because it created some consistency in the blog posts as well.
"Travelling In Time..." was another one of my favourite blogs by Lauren because it made me wish she hadn't travelled to the next moment each time. As silly as that sounds, each moment and its description was so well written that I felt as if I were reading a snippet of a novel. Honestly, the first moment in the hospital was so suspenseful! I wanted to badly to find out who was being visited and if they got better, I felt bad for the family that was going through that and wanted to be a part of that world so that I could tell them...but it wasn't my place. Every character had been described with little description but so much emotion that it really made me think, "this girl seriously needs to write a book!" Even if the moments were short (which they were meant to be to resemble Billy's travels in time, I understand that) I felt that each of them were separate but connected because of the main character (Lauren of course) that seemed so real and that the elevator was present in each of them (good attention to detail by the way). Overall, this blog post seemed very personal to me as a read it and I felt that I got to know Lauren a little better just through this. I think she should think about beginning her novel someday soon (see her blog post #12), because the thoughts and ideas she has for it sound good to me!
"Certainty" is the final blog post I'm going to discuss because it kept me thinking after I finished reading it. Though it is short, it provokes thought so don't skip it friends! Okay, I also like the idea that the Tralfamadorians don't bother to try and change their fate because they know its structured that way and they just accept that. As I've said before in my blogs that I'm a believer of fate and to me this idea sounds great! I think that if you know the way something is going to end you shouldn't avoid it by doing all that you can to "change the moment" it just can't be changed. I over think a lot of things too, just trying to plan ahead for whatever I may choose to over think at a given moment is too much. I think that learning to accept whatever is going on at the moment and just working with what I'm given is something that I should try to adapt to my daily life, but that is easier said than done of course. Anyways, Lauren brings up the good point that we're not like the Tralfamadorians and that we don't know what our future holds so we shouldn't try to change it, just prepare for it in a way. In my opinion, planning too far ahead or over thinking everything in order to avoid some kind of disappointment or to expect a reward in the future causes us to lose sight of the present. Ultimately that's all we really have, the present. No one can really tell us what the future holds and we certainly can't go back in time like Billy to relive moments or to see things backwards, just trying to live each day the best we can. Yeah, that scene in the novel stuck in my memory too and it brought many ideas about the present, fate and Carpe Diem so thank you Lauren for bringing that scene to every one's attention!
Overall, I really enjoyed this blog because it seemed so personal and at the same time thought provoking for the reader. I made connections between parts of the novel and I found out that the structure isn't as important as what is being written (quality over quantity folks). Thus the blogging assignments come to an end on Monday and everyone will probably stop using their accounts but I'll still remember the blogs that made me think, much like I can still taste the sweetness of that Popsicle that melted twenty minutes ago.

This Gun For Hire

Running through the forest always gave me chills. The monsters that lurk behind every tree, eagerly waiting to jump out and bite its victim without a second thought about the pain they're about to inflict on them for days to come. Mosquito's are like that. Just wandering into the forest without bug spray and smelling like a peach is asking for trouble. You're doomed. So what happens when a friendly game of hide and seek goes awry and you run into the forest unarmed. Is there really a point to running out of there with high hopes of not being bitten? The odds of that are probably against you, the most likely thing to happen is that the monsters form a swarm at the exit and you're forced to run right through it! Talk about disgusting. Seeing as I'm likely to be bitten, I'd rather stay in that great hiding spot and save myself the energy of running to home free. Lazy? Maybe. I prefer the term accepting. I know that those tiny monsters will eventually bite me because I'm not wearing bug spray so I might as well win the game.
That's my point of view when it comes to Billy believing in fate after his abduction by the Tralfamadorians and not trying to avoid his death at the end of the novel. If he was going to be shot why prolong the death? For this reason I don't see him as a coward or a fool, I see him as a person who bravely accepted his fate. After Billy was taught that he is still alive in all the other moments of his life, he believed that his fate was to be shot at a certain moment and didn't try to run. I don't see what the point of running from his death is if he knows that this is how he is meant to die so I agree with his choice to stay put at the end of the novel. Being a believer of fate myself, it would be pointless to escape from death and be anxious every moment of your life that you might be shot. That is why I don't see Billy as a fool for letting his death come at the end of the novel; however, that doesn't drastically change my opinion of Billy Pilgrim, he just deserved some credit for accepting his fate at the end of the novel in my opinion.

Lending a part of Slaughterhouse

After reading this confusing, dark humoured and witty novel I'd say that there are several scenes that lend themselves best to film. The two (because I can't choose between them) that stand out in my mind are of Billy being mauled by Weary and of Billy's final moments before death.
The scene where Billy is being beaten up by Weary would be an excellent vision for film because it gives the audience a chance to feel emotion towards the characters. While I was reading the novel I didn't feel much of a connection to any of the characters. It would seem that way in a movie as well, just the storytelling of Billy's life and not much excitement. Suddenly you see Weary beating the crap out of Billy because he had to separate from the other two Musketeers (who later get shot) and make sure that he doesn't desert his so called friend Billy. "Crazy, Sexy and Murderous" is how Weary's relationships with people were described as in the book and this would definitely be said by the narrator in the movie. Just picture a loud but clam voice saying those three simple words as you see Billy being yelled at, shoved, punched. When the last word, murderous, is said the background music stops and it zooms out to show the audience a crystal clear view of German soldiers staring down at Weary getting ready to kick Billy's sickly spine. A dramatic pause ensues.
Later in the movie....there is a final scene of Billy travelling through time, a sort of warp with moments blurring past him and voices all around. Soon his own voice becomes prominent over the other voices and Billy is warped into the moment of himself giving a speech before his death. There is a full shot panning the auditorium, then zooming in to a mid shot of Billy giving his speech. As he begins to tell the audience of his nearing death the camera goes from face to face in the room. Some are shocked and frantic, while others stare with disbelief. The motion quickens as Billy's speech is winding down and a symphony of instruments gets louder as the moment tenses. Billy is awaiting his death, everyone in the room knows its soon, the music is getting louder and louder BAM! Billy's voice can't be heard anymore, the people are frantically running out of the auditorium but their noise can't be heard either, the whole scene is silence with lots of movement. Finally there is a full body shot of the killer walking away with a gun in hand and the audience is left thinking of the persons identity.
Those are the two scenes from the novel that I think would lend themselves great to film and that is how I would film them to emphasize the reaction I had while reading. I think that Vonnegut wrote those scenes very well, the description wasn't too boring that I'd want to skip to the next page (like scenes from Mayor of Casterbridge) and I felt that Billy as a character was shown in a different light other than being pathetic and boring. Yes, it was pathetic that he was being beaten by Weary in the first scene I chose, but I think that taking a beating like that without making lots of noise or fighting back also showed that Billy knew his place (the bottom, the victim) he didn't try to fight it. It is also arguable that he didn't try to avoid being shot and that's pathetic. I think that he believes in fate and that no matter what someone would have shot him. There's no point in prolonging his death because he would live in fear of it, its better to just get it over with and be like the Tralfamadorians (to die is just one moment, there are plenty of other moments when the person is still alive). That is why I wouldn't necessarily consider Billy to be pathetic in those two scenes and I felt they would lend themselves well to film.

Could I be friends with thee?

One gorgeous sunny day, much like last Sunday, two people are playing a humble game of chess in the park. The first player moves their rook three spaces to knock out their opponents knight. "I can't believe you saw that...without your glasses!" says the opponent. A grin comes her way from the first player, its difficult to tell if he's being mean or genuinely happy about his small victory. It doesn't matter for long. The opponent has moved the bishop ten spaces to knock down the first player's queen and has the king trapped. "Check mate!!!" Bewildered the first player stares at the chess board. Five. Ten. Twenty minutes pass. He still hasn't made a move and the opposing player has the feeling that the move will never come. "My dear, I think you've finally mastered the Simple Art of Murder," says he. Strange. Double meaning? She thinks it over for a few minutes, a smile forms on her face as she realizes the subtle hint of Raymond Chandler's essay in his words. They'd talked about it at their last meeting and she barely understood it's intentions. Before the chess game, the first player explained it to her using chess metaphors and she shared her interpretations of it. Now, the first player knows that she has understood and clears the board with a swift hand. The game is over.  They've both won.
I could see my friendship with Vonnegut as that situation (if we had ever met and had the chance to become friends), every moment would be simple and complex simultaneously because we're such opposites. The fact that he'd be an old man means that he'd be difficult to relate to at first and I have a feeling that I wouldn't make the effort to be entertaining. Maybe our first meeting would be like that of Billy and his mother. Vonnegut hiding under the sheets! What a sight that would be, considering the poor soul had seen so many things as a POW. I feel as if I would make pointless conversation just to be polite and Vonnegut would sit there wondering why I'm pestering him. After a long and awkward time, I'd mention my interest in chess and oddly enough he would offer to help me improve my game (because what old person doesn't enjoy some chess?). We'd be like those old people friends you see in the movies, playing chess in the park. Except I would be much younger than he, but you get my point.
After many a day, my strategy to take down an opponent would improve and Vonnegut's peculiar sense of humour would begin to make sense to me. Finally! I've barely understood it while reading this novel, but I imagine he would make sense in person because I could ask him to elaborate on the moment to which he is referring. I'd ask him to tell me his intended meaning to something like, "A dog barked in the distance." Those strange moments in the novel where I was completely taken out of my reading because of something so random. It would be interesting to see if Vonnegut was eager to talk about Slaughterhouse Five or if he would try to avoid it because he'd already written those events and couldn't face to relive them through speaking to me. Its a mystery of course. That's why my fictional chess game with Vonnegut ends with me winning in chess and learning his meaning by "Simple Art of Murder" it could relate to many things. Such as the fact Raymond Chandler was a writer as well and he didn't write story's that were happy dory all the time (Vonnegut clearly didn't write Slaughterhouse Five to be a happy story because it is a war novel, has dark humour, makes Billy suffer etc.). Maybe that the title itself, The Simple Art of Murder could relate to the experiences Vonnegut went through in Dresden. All of those innocent people were murdered and it was fairly simple for the government to cover it up because it wasn't a significant contribution to the war efforts (thus a shame on them murdering all those innocent people).
All of those unanswered questions I have about the novel would be answered by the writer himself. It would be interesting to actually have a conversation with Vonnegut and I'd like to think we could play a game of chess in the park on a nice Sunday...and I would win.

The best place for the next moment

Fine white sand shaped to and scolded my feet as I walked across the beach. I just kept my eyes on my beach chair and listened to the sloshing of the water against the shore, desperately trying to forget that my feet were on fire. It must have been the middle of the day for the sand to be this hot...but I wasn't keeping track of time, I was on vacation. The whole country was beautiful, the food tasted fifty times sweeter, the people were genuinely nicer and my hotel was like stepping off the shuttle bus and entering paradise. Bathing in the sun's mid-day heat, I let my mind wander. I thought about leaving my friends behind without telling them where I was going, wondering if they'd even notice I was gone or if they'd continued their own summer adventures without me. Thinking about being forgotten both agitated me and brought me peace of mind.The sound of waves against the shore brought back my thoughts and eventually led me to walk into the water. As soon as I dove in, the moment slipped away and I felt as if I was swimming through the night's sky. Surrounded by lovely sparkles of light and feeling the cool waves splash over my sunburned head, I closed my eyes and just kept swimming....

Stopping to breath, I found that I wasn't underwater anymore but sitting on my deck reading. It must've still been summer because the sun shone brightly and I took a long drink of water. "I've really got to stop being outside in the mid-day heat," I told myself and went back to my book. Endless Summer is what I was just about to finish and seeing how close I was to the end of the book brought an empty feeling of finishing the book along with the joy of finding out the end of the story. Although I've read enough sappy teen books to guess that the main characters Lori and Adam end up together, I had a sliver of hope that this book would be different. Finishing off the last sentence I found this book wasn't very different, I didn't feel disappointed though, being in their world of chaos for the past six hours was a relief from my boring summer. I hadn't done anything in the past few days and the thrill of beggining my other new book and being a part of that world was alluring, so I picked up that book and began to read. I had only reached the second chapter when I became fully immersed in the story, On The Jellicoe Road, about a girl who's mother left her at a 7-Eleven when she was twelve and her whole world being a puzzle...

I felt a tap on my shoulder and saw my best friend waiting for me to cross the street, we were on our usual trip to Mac's. The blazing summer sun was beating down on my head and making me thirsty. I'd gotten to know the mid-day sun very well this summer. It wasn't really a long walk, from her house to the store, I just felt that all the walking we'd done earlier from the mall to her house made it seem miles away, "I don't want to go anymore...let's go home." She looked at me, not a trace of anger or annoyance in her eyes (I'd been saying this for the past twenty minutes), and calmly said, "I know you'll regret saying that as soon as we turn back. Don't try to tell me otherwise." With that said, I walked all the way to Mac's without another word. Eating my sour cherry blasters, I was happy to know that there was one person out there that took the time to get to know me. Yeah, its all too cliché but all the walls that people make around themselves these days is overwhelming to think about, just the idea that we're not all the exact same person around everyone makes me worry. I know that's why I can remember this moment so vividly, not because it altered my destiny but because I knew that someone cared. Sometimes I look around and think that everyone needs a little push to cross the street.